The perils of the fireswamp

In the movie Princess Bride (yes, I know this is the second reference I've made to it in less than a week, but I really don't go around quoting it all the time, I swear!), when Westley and Princess Buttercup are making their way through the legendary fire swamp, there's this moment where he's reassuring her that they really are figuring out the dangers of the swamp; they know what to look for, they're going to make it out.

Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt — no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.

The idea of OK, now that we know what that looks like, we can handle it. . .

I'm gathering my own list of Muscle Myopathy Fire Swamp Dangers. Here are two:

SWALLOWING

If I swallow cavalierly, stuff kind of hangs there at the top of my esophagus, somewhat stuck — or, occasionally — goes down the wrong pipe. 

I know now that the “hanging there” is because the muscles in the “elevator” of my esophagus are not doing a very good job of moving things down to my stomach.

I know now to sit up tall, tuck my chin back a little, and concentrate on pressing the back of my tongue toward the back of my throat as I swallow. (Spelling it out like this makes it seem way more complicated than it is. It's really just about paying attention while eating or drinking.)

COUGHING

Normally when you get a little water in your windpipe, you cough it out. But as muscles are weakening everywhere, the diaphragm is, too, and coughing can become a challenge. (My coughs are pitiful: I sound like I'm pretending to cough: a-HUH, a-HUH . . .)

I now know that turning upside-down helps: sitting with head between knees, or on my knees with my head on the floor, or doing Downward-facing Dog while I cough. (This is not the prescribed way of dealing with it — just what I have found helps me.)

A little like giving yourself the Heimlich

I now know that there is a wealth of resources online which show how to help yourself cough when you're weak — and which give caretakers pointers on how to help the patients in their care. Like this one. 

What's that old expression? . . . Forewarned is forearmed. Yes.