How to Sleep on Steroids 101

You come out of sleep instantly wide awake with the sense that Something is about to happen. 

(The feeling is not unlike like the opening few seconds of “The Lonely Bull” by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass — everything humming in anticipation of . . . Something.) 

Here’s what I’ve found to be helpful. 

1. Before bed, take some melatonin. And maybe turn on a fan, for white noise.

2. When you wake up in the middle of the night — and you will — do NOT open your eyes. If you need to see (like if you need to go to the bathroom), squint your eyes and take a tiny peek but try not to let light in. 

3. If at all possible, keep all lights off.

4. Do not think. In particular, do not think about things that make you mad. Or things you need to do. Or things you could buy online right now. Like English ivy.